सिक्क

i hate to end the month with a doubt, sickness and menstruation
i am now sick as hell
i used to treat my sick love one with first class treatment.
just like SIA First class' attentiveness and service
but hell when it is my turn to be sick
it sucked
i am treated like fuck
worse than budget airline
when i ask for a drink
he took ages to pour me one.
if i die of dehydration that would be his fault
i cant believe im getting a six people one room hospital ward's kinda sucky local nurses services.
damn
i want to get well..
i want to party tmr
like there's no tmr
love
xoxo
nicole

predicament

what is your purpose in life?
what is your goal in life?

seriously i have no idea
is it okay that you do things your way
and not bother what others might think or say
why is it that judgment is a human nature?
why human has to wear a facade?
why make things so difficult when it is so simple?
why take the long way when there is short cut?
so many whys

im feeling red now
a bloody red month
going to end soon
Red packets, CNY, Menstruation, Anger
is all in RED

hmmm
my SIA interview the other day was a failure
but im not going to give up.i will keep trying.
fulfill my long time dream
flying and gives the best service and make a difference.

टाइम तो चंगे

time to change my life.
my first post in 2009
hopefully this year is going to be a better year.
many things and obstacles i have gone through last year.
i hope to make it right this year
im going to be a better person
and mayb start acting my age
im fucking 23 and not doing anything
that is a shame
yeah i know
i read the forecast this year (im born in tiger year)
hmm not so bad.
i hope everything will go smoothly despite all the problems
especially family disputes, economy crisis the stupid recession

maybe i should join the army
since it really change a boy to a REAL man
i have to be independent
im moving out
whatever the cause is
i hope to contribute something to the people in needs and amends all my mistakes
23 years of suffering and choking myself with all the lies
will be all gone
real gone
i am going to step into working life soon
pretty much soon(may god bless me)
and it is the time to REPENT and start changing
hmmm
i enjoy working---part time
its going to be exciting to start in a new environment
i hope it dosnt bore me so much.
i love making myself busy
new life HERE I COME

nightlife

ruining yourself with ultimate blow
yes
it is easy
i found myself drawn into nightlife so easily
at least now once a week
i am not talking about money spending here
it is about night life
i am 18 no more
i am bloody double 2
i hate to say this but
2 more years 3 more years i will be an old hag trying to be 18
who knows i might not even get free entrace on ladies night
where do i belong then?
lunar?
st james?
or those chi chi atas place supperclub, or chill out bar lounge and stuff
omg im getting old
this year is like beckham real madrid jersey number
and worse thing is
i am still a fcking degree student and only graduate like next summer which is like year 2010
omg
and not married and still loafing at home not looking for my future
not earning money
i wish bedtime story does happen so things would be easier for me
love
nicole
xoxo

2009

in the year 2009
what a morning
i got shit fucks on my face when i got up
who would want to stay at home
the very first day of new year
family reunion bla bla
u feel warmth at home
i got shit
i want to move out like immediately
it is going to be hard
i dont care
i hate being at home
the tension
and everything
that is not even a house
not even a hotel
it is like a workplace
you do housework punch in and out
got your monthly pay
that's it
i hate to say this
stop nagging it is annoying
i could not stand why
i deserve it
how long more do you have to do this? until the day i repent
i changed to the better? that is not gonna happen
that is why im moving out
even if i have changed
i do not see the need to show to u people
we are family so what
it has been so long since i ever felt family
it doesn't bother me anymore
i just could not fit in to this
and i don't want
whatever you want to say
i don't give a f*** anymore
enough of lies
it is hard to believe someone who lied before
i know
and even when i tel the truth
no one believe me
i know
its too late
i hate this
good bye